Abusive Relationships ...

So I’ve been with this guy for a long time now but I’m not sure if it was even supposed to get this far .. When we had first met he was CONSTANTLY talking about his ex to me, always answering her call and walking away from me to talk to her for 20 mins to a half an hour just to come back with a smile on his face & im just like ‘ohhh okay, I see where this is going’ . So from him doing what he did I started texting my ex but he lives an hour away and I was always with the new guy every second of the day .. anyway I ended up leaving my phone in the movie theater one day so the new guy let me use his phone so I can text my family and let them know I lost my phone , some of them I had to log into Facebook and contact them because that’s the only way I was contacting them so I logged onto his Facebook app (I had been with this ‘new guy for about a month and a half by then) he snatched his phone from me and started going through EVERYTHING on my Facebook , literally things from before I even knew who he was ..

so it started off with verbal and mental abuse .. no matter how much I tried to explain to him I was texting my ex for the first 2 weeks I was with him because of the things he was doing but he wasn’t trying to understand where I was coming from .. he would constantly call me out of my name in front of his friends , out in public tell me I was nothing , just everything you could ever imagine & I started to begin to feel worthless ..

After about 2 months of the verbal & mental abuse came the physical .. he would start arguments with me for no reason just to start to throw me around push me , punch me , slap me pull my hair .. and my worthless feeling became a feeling of nothing .. before I met him I suffered years and years of depression so all of this on top of it I think only God understood how badly I felt I did not deserve to be on this earth .. he wouldn’t allow me to leave the house , I wasn’t allowed to contact my family when I wanted to .. if he told me to go to the store when I would come back it was more pushing and pulling and yelling ..

Then I found out I was pregnant ....... when I told him it didn’t matter . He didn’t want to believe me , he still put his hands on me push me around blow cigarette smoke in my face when I would ask him if he could go somewhere else to smoke it .. so when he finally let me go to the doctors (because I wasn’t allowed to do anything without his approval) I care back with a letter stating I was 8 weeks pregnant & in my mind I’m excited just because I felt like I would finally have someone in my life that would just love me regardless of anything .. but instead I wasn’t strong enough to leave this guy because I had nobody & nowhere to go so I stayed and continued to be physically emotionally and mentally abused...

He ended up getting arrested because we were arguing on the street one day and someone called the cops & when they looked up his name he had a warrant out for probation and he went to jail (he’s still in there now) the day after he got arrested I had a miscarriage really leaving me with nobody .. this guy is getting out of jail soon and I’m scared of what to do . He’s promised me over and over he will never put his hands on me again and he wants to try to have a child again when he gets out but I don’t want to .. I want to disappear so he can’t find me when he gets out but I don’t know how ... I can use any type of advise from anyone just please don’t be rude .. I have already been through enough 😪