😞 hoping for better things in 2018

I realize too late, I should’ve thought about having kids too soon. I’m about to be 23 with my 3rd baby on the way.. i have missed on a lot of things and the worst thing is that I’m not even happy. My marriage is like we don’t know each other. The only thing we have in common are our babies. I said bye to my 2017 with tears & sadness. I fought with my husband. A woman who is my “ godmother” been txting him these past few days. Sending him kissy faces & pictures. Tonight she txted him saying happy New Years. And my kids and me didn’t even receive a hug from him 😞😔. He give us everything we need ( materialistic) but other than time or spending time with us. Instead of fixing things. He went to sleep in the kids room & left me in our room with them. Now he’s drinking and playing cards with my aunts. And I’m here crying wishing things were different 😔 every holiday is the same thing. Sorry for putting this on here but idk where else to express my self.