ADHD & Bipolar No motivation, No focus

I struggle with ADHD & Bipolar I can’t concentrate on anything and it gets worse when I’m depressed or manic. There is so many things I’ve wanted to do through my life. Everyone expected me to be this amazing artistic person, so many goals, talent, ect. I feel like a complete failure. I’m jealous when I see others do things that I once lived to do or would have loved to do. When I’m depressed I feel like there is nothing and o lack so much motivation. When I’m manic I have so many ideas, everything feels full, I feel ontop the world, I feel like I’m doing a million things and I’m thinking of a million things but in reality I’m really just running and dancing in circles talking about how great I am and how positive everything is. My ADHD makes it hard to do anything even when I’m not in a mood swing. I just feel like a complete failure and like I will never be anything. When I’m on meds i feel less creative I feel just meh which I guess is better than being delusional and suicidal. I just dont know what to with myself. I have so many ideas of things I’d like to do but I zero motivation or ability to focus on it when I come up with ideas