Is he right to ask me not to see him?

Question

So long story short my male best friend is also an ex of mine, my boyfriend doesn’t like this, we don’t see each other as exs despite this my boyfriend does not like me seeing him, my family think he’s being controlling so I need advice..

Answer

Personally I wouldn’t want my husband to spend any time with someone he shared a history with, not because I don’t trust HIM but because It’s impossible to tell how the other person feels...your ex might have feelings for you even if you don’t reciprocate!

Answer

(sorry this post is so long) many people may not agree with me but I don't think he has the right to ask you not to hangout with him any more and here are my reasons:
1. if he trusts you then he should understand that nothing will happen between you and your ex. if he believes you when you tell him that you guys are just great friends and that you don't see each other as ex's then he should be able to trust you. I saw a few people say that you never know if the ex may still have feelings for you but that doesn't matter! as long as you don't have feelings for ur ex then you new man shouldn't have any problems with it!
2. you are your own person and no one (not even your family) should be able to dictate who you can hangout with, be friends with, or have a relationship with except yourself! you are a grown woman!
3. if the tables were turned and you weren't comfortable with your man hanging out with someone I would say the same thing to him! you have to be able to respect the other person and their friendships. you shouldn't try and Force a person to change.
with all that said, I would sit down and talk to your man and explain to him that you live him and that you don't want to make him uncomfortable but also explain that the friendship that you have with your ex is important to you and see if you can find a compromise. maybe the 3 of you can hangout together and show him there is nothing to worry about. or if ur ex has a gf then go on a double date.. I want you to know, that I am speaking from experience! my husband is friends with 3 of his ex girlfriends. I don't tell him to stop hanging out with them and I told him how uncomfortable their friendships made me so he had me hangout with them, go on double dates with them, invite them over for dinner, etc.  I trust my husband and I knew nothing would happen between them but him including me in their friendships really helped me let go of the uncomfortable feeling. hopefully it will do the same for you and your man. (also, I want to point out that my husband was very open with sharing his texts and calls that he exchanged with them so that helped too, it made me realize he wasn't hiding anything! it's always good to be very forthcoming in situations like this)

Answer

I wouldn't be bothered if my partner spoke to an ex as a friend, but I did have problems when he did that and the ex started getting inappropriate. She'd call at stupid hours in the morning drunk, message him about sex etc, and just generally acted not like a friend would. My partner stopped talking to her when he realised it was inappropriate behaviour. If she'd just been a friend I'd have had no problems with it, I didn't at first before she got weird. Talk to your partner and get him to explain his concerns, hear him out and then work on a solution that you both agree with. If you guys aren't being inappropriate then he needs to see that, maybe you could all meet up sometime so your partner can see for himself what you're both like?

Answer

Would you do the some to him if the rolls were revised?  If it was him with an ex that was now he friend?   If now than talk to him but you can’t say will that’s not right if you would do the some.   For me I’m not sure how I would feel.  But my husband doesn’t talk to any of his ex’s and I don’t talk to mine.

Answer

He being controlling

Answer

He’s not being controlling, a lot of people don’t like their significant others hanging out with their exes. If you love him just respect how he feels

Answer

Pretty sure you would feel the same way if your boyfriend was hanging out with his ex. Definitely not controlling at all. Not sure what your family is smoking. I would call it more protective then controlling.

Answer

My husband is close friends with his ex. I trust him and she is a very nice girl. They always fought when they dated, so they realized their friendship needs to stay a friendships

Answer

how would you truly feel if the roles were reversed? that’s the only answer you need. sometimes it feels harmless if you’re the one doing it but if it was your partner doing it, it could make you feel different bc you’re not in control of the situation, he is.

Is he right to ask me not to see him?

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