Anxiety overload....

Leecia

Hey everyone ; I’m Leecia and for the last three years I have had the feeling of my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach more than I’ve probably smile.

Okay let’s get into way I’m always feeling this way. I’ve been in a relationship for the past three years with someone I would say is my high school sweet heart. He’s truly the only person who actually gets the nerdy , mixed cultural melting pot that is me. But granted we are from twooooo different lifestyles. I grew up as a sheltered yet free only child who never was happy with the going out , loud party scenes ; just keeping to my inner circle .... whereas he’s the risk taking. Going out to parties , going MIA and just the opposite of me.

Now I’m 20 , and he’s 21 and I have nothing against him having fun ; trust me I want him too. But it gets to a point when I feel overwhelmed by worrying about him. As we grow further in our relationship. I realize more and more how different we are. Before it was because we were both compatible with each other’s intellectual goals , now it’s how we are as people. What has our interest. What has our drives. And every single time I think I know him he goes and show me other ways and I sit down and end up in fetus position all night. I don’t know anymore. Maybe it’s time to let go ? Or maybe its time to fit in to his life ? But that would make me change my morals , an myself and that’s something I promised myself I won’t do. I’m just lost