Everything in life is so exhausting. I've got no motivation to do anything anymore. What's the point? We're all going to die one day, why do anything? Why should I socialize, why should I go to school, why should I do anything? "To make a future for yourself", we're all going to die, and the life we make for ourselves will end immediately. I don't see the point at all. Why do I have to do anything at all?

I'm so constantly anxious, I've been having more and more anxiety attacks recently. All I want to do is curl up into my bed and sleep forever. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to eat, I don't want to breath. I don't want to be alive anymore. Why do I even try?

I'm starting to get more and more urges to self harm. I'm trying my best to ignore them, to not let it get to that point, but it's so hard. Especially when everything I do seems wrong, and I feel like I deserve to be punished for it.

I need to get help. I need a therapist, but my mother doesn't think anything's wrong. "It's just hormones". Maybe she's right, maybe I'm just overeacting.

I don't know, this is just me venting a bit, needed to get some things off my chest.