Literally gave up on my life. EDIT

You all may hate on me now and judge me.

So first of all, I grew up in an abusive home. My dad was abusive towards my mom and cheated on her. He abused me emotionally too.

I ran away from my home. I’m 19 years old. I ran away to the guy who pretended wanting to save me. Sure lol. He’s abusive too. And he has another woman at the same time. Expects me to accept that. When i complain too much he would hit me. I’m sitting here with a black eye typing this. That’s sick isn’t it. I have no job, no friends no family. I’m also in another country now with him. He doesn’t let me have a job. And what is the most sick: I don’t do anything about it. I don’t do anything anything anything. In all my life i had to pull up myself out from bad situations like the abusive home in which I grew up. I thought when I found him I found the exit from the bad to the good. Silly me. Now I’m stuck here. I have fallen into a deep black hole and I can’t get myself out. I’m tired of fighting. I’m telling myself that my mom managed to stay with an abusive cheating husband for 30 years so it won’t kill me either. I’ve been in this situation for about 1 year now. People can be so cruel I don’t understand this world. I feel traumatised.

EDIT: I’m in England at the moment

Thank you all for the kind comments and thank you for not judging me