somebody please help me??????

ok. i am 20 years old, i’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years, i love him so much but i just don’t know if i even want to be with him anymore.

We’ve been living together for about 7 months mostly just because i couldn’t live with my mom anymore as she is extremely toxic to be around. anyway my boyfriend got fired from his job about four months ago and he still hasn’t gotten a job! his savings is almost used up he’s been searching for a new job but not really hard.. like he maybe checks online once or twice a day i don’t even think he applies anywhere! i’ve told him he needs to go out and get physical job applications and do onsite interviews. he doesn’t. he literally sits home alll day and does basically nothing while i’m at work for 8 hours 7 days a week and i’m probably going to have to get a second job just to pay for groceries! like does it actually take 4+ months to get a job? i got my job in less than a week and i’ve had it for over a year...

this is a huge part of why i can’t do this anymore but it’s also the fact that i feel WAY under appreciated he never says thank you, he NEVER says “i love you” unless i say it first, he NEVER tells me i look pretty or anything and those are just the simple things i need from a relationship like is that too much to ask for..?

he’s never taken me out on a date, i had to plan our 1 year anniversary dinner bc he wasn’t going to do anything. ugh i just feel like i deserve more!!!

but here’s the thing... if i break up with him i will be homeless and he will probably get kicked out of our apartment. i love him and i would love to stay with him i just have no fucking clue what to do anymore! if anyone could give me any outside advice i would really appreciate it. i literally have zero friends or anyone i can talk to about this. i also have to lie to my family they think he still has a job and is helping support me but the reality is i do everything by myself. oh not to mention he literally hates my family for some reason and refuses to be around them so when i see my family hey always ask where he is and i have to create even more lies just to make it look like i’m in a happy relationship.

oh my god sorry about this i’m actually having a mental breakdown!

i have decided if he doesn’t have a job by the 25th i’m just going to leave i have no fucking clue where i’ll go because my mom won’t take me in.

please help me i’m a mess! also sorry if this is shit to read i am just spilling all of my held in feelings.