Jealous, scared, and frustrated

I posted this in a TTC forum and someone told me it wasn’t the place.

I don’t know if this is the place either, but here it goes:

2017 was hard. We had a miscarriage and a stillbirth. Now my friends who were pregnant with me are starting to have their babies. I’m happy for them but I can’t help but be jealous and sad. We want a second so I know we will try again but we’ve decided to wait a few months ( so we will start next month). Then I’m just scared that this will happen again or worst, I’m just frustrated that I got attached and lost him, that I have to try again but that baby (if we can manage one) will never be him. And I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age and now that gap is closing. I just feel sad and defeated. Am I the only one who feels like this? How can I get out of this funk and be productive and normal again. And how do I get excited about another journey when I’m petrified to even take the first step.