I have a confession..

This may sound terrible, and i’m ready for mom shaming comments...

I suffer from PPD, in a form of crying, sitting in the same spot all day. Not eating, laughing, talking or anything.. this depression quickly took over my life, and my mental health... I find myself drinking a 6 pack every night after a long day and feeling relaxed and calm, and feeling way more sound and sane than what my antidepressants do for me.. am I wrong? Am I going about this totally opposite? I do not get drunk, I still care for my daughter and husband & son. Am I wrong for un winding with a 6 pack at night?