cheating

OK so my boyfriend of almost 9 years has lied to me multiple times about talking to other girls always the same thing once a whole fb just talking sexual to like 20 females never found anything that proved he didnt anything physical but ive always been skeptical i was stupid and believed he would stop and was sorry well long story short we had a child together and he got a.job and i found messages again this time it was with someone from work and the messages was like normal relationship calling her cute nick names telling her about me and our issues he even coped and pasted something I wrote to him and send it to her so after I was done how could that be nothing I eventually emailed the girl and she too said it only went as far as a hug he bought this person flowers and that's what I could find who knows else I what else I still forgave him cuz I want y child to have a mom and dad not have to spilt time OK so months go by then another female from work I only could see they had some secret messages and he called her hot mama and he said it was nothing I haven't found anything for over a year now but I can't trust him he will go for months without waiting sex then all of a sudden he's asking for it we always have had a horrible sex life but sometimes it feels off like he can all of sudden go twice in one night which has never happened the whole 9 years I don't see him looking a porn sites or he's just really good at hiding it but we r always together besides when he's at work or if I go away for a weekend what do u all think I'm I stupid for trusting a man that has proven over and over he can't trusted or do u think that I haven't found me to be guilty of anything for while he's finally grown up