My Mother

So I’m 17 turning 18 soon and my whole life I’ve basically been raising my siblings because my family is a mess. I got used to it over time and I’m not complaining because I’m proud of the woman I’m turning out to be because of it...but here’s the thing. My mom has borderline personality disorder and our relationship isn’t always the best. Recently we came up to Washington state to get away from the chaos in Vegas. Due to crazy complications last year, three of my siblings (there are 5 and I’m the oldest) live with my grandpa so we only had the two tiniest of the group. We stayed up here for a good 4 months before my mom lost it and decided she’d rather be with her boyfriend. She took the two babies ( 4 and 2), brought them back to Vegas and dropped them off at their daddy’s house. Before leaving me here at my grandmas she let me know that she wished she had never had me. I don’t really have many friends and I’m kinda just working on getting my diploma right now but I don’t want to lose myself to depression. Any suggestions? I’d appreciate it so much!