My life as a literal black hole

There I was. It’s dark outside, I’m watching some TV before going to bed. I just start to get cozy when the unthinkable happens, (although honestly I’m a bugnut who never checks to see when her period is coming and turns out it was on schedule). I go to the bathroom, clean myself up, put in a tampon and I’m good to go.

And then the cramps start. Horrible, I think my stomach just exploded cramps. I take some pain relief and decide to go to bed to try and sleep through it so I won’t have to consciously deal with it anymore.

Well, at about 1:30 in the morning I wake up hungry. The monster is unleashed. There’s no escape. Hide your food and hide your candy. After eating 2 cereal bars, 3 oranges, a salad, a piece of toast, a bowl of spaghetti, a bowl of actual cereal, and a “small” bowl of ice cream I run out of food I want to eat. ( I only just realized my list of eating gets progressively less healthy 😂) I made a midnight run to the nearest 24/7 pharmacy and picked up a shit ton of candy and some more pain reliever. My dad woke up while I was gone, noticed my car wasn’t there and thought I had gone over to my boyfriends house.

So he’s pissed and demanding I come home right now and ranting at me and I start crying on the phone because I’m hungry and super tired and idk hormones? I finally get home and basically pass out on my bed surrounded by junk food. By the time morning comes I threw up from the thought of eating a single piece of chocolate.

Moral of the story: don’t trust period cravings, they are the gateway to a life as a black hole that only half-asses everything. 😂