Trying to get mentally ready for birth

Okayyy...so I'm 19 weeks today...i've been pretty calm about the whole topic of birth and labor but I reaply dont know if I'm completly mentally ready for a natural birth...I will have baby at a hospital but really trying not to get an epidural. I was a Doula about almost 2 years ago at a Birth Center and I attended more than 50 natural no pain medication births....I would help out the moms concentrate and relax but I have no idea if those skills are going to help me or if I will freak out...First Time Mom Here! Any suggestions or videos that might help out to feel prepared or loose freight...I know I can do this...a womans body is strong and is made to carry and birth a child and I've see it happen so many times...I'm sure it hurts but we really wanted this rainbow baby and it will be all worth it! 🤰👶💙