I know a lot of people are gonna wanna say leave but it's easier said than done so please don't. I've been talking to this guy since September and I liked him a lot and he liked me so we started going on dates and everything was fine and great. He would joke about waiting all the way until we hit six months to ask me to be his gf...well now we're at 8 and he still hasn't asked because he isn't ready.

He can be sweet when he wants to be. He bought me a moon lamp and a tapestry because I said I really wanted them and he listens for the most part. He usually always feeds me and was trying to teach me how to drive at one point. I don't really know what changed but sometimes he'll one word text me and then say nothing is wrong if I ask does he not want to talk he'll say "we can" or "doesn't matter". He complains about the 30 minute commute to come get me even though i offer him gas money that he won't take.

And it really hurts because he said there were 3 times when he almost asked me to be his gf but didn't think it was the right decision because he doesn't think he's in a position to be the best boyfriend to me. And it really hurts because back in the end of february he hyped it up and was asking me if there was anything thay would keep me from being in a relationship and i said no and asked why and he said just wait until march and now its basically may and here we are.

And I feel dumb crying and still talking to him but I care so much and I told him I wouldn't leave him just because he's trying to get himself together and I know time shouldn't matter but we've made so many good memories over this 8 months and I never had a guy in my life this long consecutively.

And also we used to go out and do stuff and I saw him more because he worked at the gas station. Now he works a more regular schedule from 10am-9pm 4 days a week and is always tired and now i only see him once a week and every time he picks me up we're just going to his house and I brought it up and all he said was "i understand" and "idk" and i don't think I'm asking for much i even mentioned we could just do free stuff...I don't know.

Like I think he's a good guy but it hurts but I don't want to give up. Apparently whenever I express how I'm feeling it seems like I'm attacking him and he just shuts down and we can't resolve the problem correctly. And then he said I've been stressing him out. And I'll admit 90% of the times things are good but that 10% is what we focus on which I said we should stop. So we did for the most part and things were fine but today is bad again and I don't know why and I'm getting so tired of crying and guessing.

Like I'm PMSing which always blows things 10x out of proportion and sometimes I do go back and loom at things and think maybe I trip too hard and do stress him out, but I'm working on it. I am working on my attitude. So I can't say I don't play a part in this.

But I listen to him, and try to talk to him, I give him amazing sex, I try to talk with him like an adult, I compliment him, I tell him I appreciate him, since i can't cook him anything because theres nothing in his house to cook with i offer to buy him food sometimes, i support him. I just don't know what to do.