What the heck is wrong with me?

After putting our 15 month old to bed, my husband and I had a 45 minute discussion about when to start trying again--weighing out pros and cons and everything. LITERALLY the last words we spoke to each other before going to sleep were as follows:

Husband: "So we will definitely wait another year. You're sure?"

Me: "Positive. Absolutely."

But I woke up this morning and having a baby is ALL 👏 I 👏 CAN 👏 THINK 👏 ABOUT 👏. I'm all on babycenter.com, calculating hypothetical due dates based on cycles this app is predicting for me. I'm not even ovulating! SMH 😖

Is anyone else going through this internal conflict?

Also, I tried to post this in the most general group I could. I realize I am very lucky to be even having the conversation of trying for a 2nd (when some strong and beautiful women on here are trying so hard to have their first).

Wishing baby dust and healthy pregnancies to all. ❤