I'm wondering how others would handle this situation. Sorry this post is so long!

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 2. We have two children together. We live in the same town as all of his family and none of mine.

I have been getting very frustrated with the way we are treated by his family. His mother will have frequent "girls days" with her other daughter in laws but I have never been invited. They have made plans for these days right in front of me and I have tried just joining in instead of waiting for an invite but they will say something along the line of "we'll talk about it more later" then never say anything to me again but I'll find out because of Snapchat or other social media that they went ahead with these plans and just didn't include me.

Also the other parents will get all the cousins together to play and my kids have never been invited, again we find out about this stuff from social media. For example they all went to the grandparents house to dye Easter eggs and nobody said a word to us about it before hand but when we asked about it we were told how much fun they all had. My husband has tried talking to his mom about the cousins getting together without our kids and she told him to leave it alone. We have tried making plans separately with people and all together with the family and nobody ever puts in any effort for us. I have not missed a neice or nephew's birthday party since I started dating my husband but my husband's siblings and their kids have never come to one of our kids birthday parties.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I did something to make everyone dislike me, I have always tried to get along with everyone.

And to add even more to my insecurities over this, one of my brother in law's had been dating a girl for about a year now and she is always invited to everything.

I am so confused and so tired of trying with these people. I am very close with my side of the family but we live hours away from any of them and it's so hard not having my family around and feeling like me and our children aren't welcome in his!

Any time I try to talk to my husband about it he shuts down and won't talk.

I don't know what to do. I feel so alone. Any time we are around his family now I end up having crazy anxiety because I don't feel comfortable and my kids aren't comfortable because all the other cousins are friends and know each other but they don't know my kids so they don't let my kids play with them. Also, they are all around the same age so age isn't the issue here.

And I know I keep saying "my kids" but just so there is no confusion I will add that they are biologically my husband's kids too.

Does anyone have any advice?

(sorry for the long rambling post)