Boyfriend doesn't care about my pleasure

Hello all,

It's my first time posting here but in my culture this topic is a taboo and I have no one to talk to, so I will try to write here even though I'm shy.

I have a boyfriend of 1,5 years and 4 months ago we started having sex - he is my first. I was trying to wait until getting married - but oh, well I have failed.

The thing is, I have never had an orgasm. It bothers me and it also bothers me that this doesn't seem like a priority to him. He can easily come and then it is bedtime for him, he can just go to sleep and I am here like "that was it? what about me?". He can't go for a second time either.

I feel like the pleasure I will ever get from this sex is limited and the little fun I get during the short amount of time until he comes was not really worth starting to have sex.

If I ask several times he eventually agrees to try other things like going down on me, which I really really like; and when it is before sex I like the sex waaayy better as well but with that too I never had an orgasm so his argument is that it is never enough for me, why should he do it when it doesn't make me have an orgasm either, that I don't go down on him either, if he did for thirty minutes I would say I am not done and still ask for more etc. He basically said "it's unrealistic to expect it every time, I am not in the mood, it doesn't do anything for me and I don't like doing it at all. He is like "I don't like it, it doesn't make you come, I don't know what else to do."

So, why would I want to have sex if it doesn't do it for me? To be left unsatisfied each time?

Is it really unrealistic to expect some effort in return every time? Is it selfish to ask it from him knowing that he doesn't enjoy it?

More importantly, how can I have an orgasm without it? I need to know, I hope this is not all I'll ever get for the rest of my life.

Thanks,