Everything in my life just seems to be falling apart.

I don’t want this to be super long so I’ll try to condense it all. And I’m also sorry if this is all jumbled up and doesn’t make sense. My mind is full of thoughts and I just need them to be out somehow.

Basically the father of my child broke up with me. I felt betrayed and heart broken initially but I also felt relieved and finally free. But now it’s getting harder and harder to act like I’m okay. All I do is go to work and come home to take care of my daughter, which I obviously don’t mind I’m in love with my baby, but sometimes I need a break too. A day to myself. A drink by myself. A spa day. Anything. Yet my daughters father can do anything he wants, any time he wants! He can go to the bar on Friday nights while I’m at home watching our daughter. He can go home right after work, then go right back out and do what his little heart desires. Meanwhile I get off work, race to my daughters day care to pick her up, come home all sweaty and tired but can’t rest or shower yet until after my daughter is fed and in bed.

I’m starting to feel lonely again and I even contemplated suicide which is not how I want my life to be. The only friend I thought I had in this cold world betrayed me and sided with my ex and started rumors about me with him. I’m here for all of my loved ones and check up on them all the time but I never receive the same. Sometimes I’ll make little comments or even a post about feeling sad or down just to get a little attention but that doesn’t even do anything. I feel like everyone is against me and I don’t know why. I’m doing my part. I work full time, take care of my daughter 24/7, provide her with everything, take care of myself. All I want is someone to check up on me and be genuine about it but I really have no one.