Another Ramadhan gone. How was it?

Question

I’m always looking for new perspectives and ways to boost my imaan. I also love hearing about others’ experiences with Islam. I thought it might be a good way for us to help one another by sharing what we took from this Ramadhan. 
So, if you care to share, how was your Ramadhan? 
Did you learn anything new? Or maybe you had some lightbulb moments of well needed reminders? 
Do you feel stronger in anyway? (Or maybe weaker from the long fasts.. lol)
Have you set yourself any goals?
Eid Mubarak, my loves! I pray that you are all blessed in your celebrations. That the mothers and mothers to be are raised in their ranks for the hardships of Ramadhan. And that the countless blessings of Ramadhan prove to be a means of righteous and gorgeous babies, for all of the baby makers among us! May Allah Ta’ala accept all of our ibadah from Ramadhan and allow us to continue bettering ourselves, InshaAllah 💚

Answer

What I learnt is, we need an extra bedroom so I can get up for sehri without waking our toddler 😂
No, seriously though. It’s the first Ramadan I’ve had where I felt genuinely disappointed in myself. Probably because I thought things would be easier now he’s older, I set myself up for a fall. The nursing was hard, but perhaps more difficult were the late nights and super early mornings with a toddler. After the first week I all but gave up and resigned myself to the fact I couldn’t fast or read Taraweeh. I started to wonder what else there is to Ramadan.
Then about half way through, I picked myself up and started reading the Quran daily, listening to the recitation in parallel which I’ve never done before. And I also started listening to Islamic podcasts in bed for half an hour before I slept. Those two things gave me a much needed boost. 
So I suppose the main thing I learnt is that small things can be better than big things, if it means I can be consistent. 
Also, I think I became more aware of what Allah SWT means when he says our children are a distraction in this life. We love them to pieces, they are our world, but, for me, my toddler’s request for time and attention is definitely more tangible than the calls from my Creator. Why do I run to hug my son when he cries out for me, but I don’t run to my prayer mat when the adhan begins? It shouldn’t be so, but having your offspring there in front of you is easy to see. I need to work on understanding the deeper virtues of different forms of Ibadah in order to visualise the requirements of my deen as equally as the dunya. I know motherhood is full of rewards if done for the sake of Allah SWT, but I admit maybe I use this almost as an excuse on occasion if I feel too tired or something. I need to correct this and work out ways to increase my imaan, and therefore worship, without compromising care of my child. 
Sorry for the very long reply! It’s something I’ve been thinking about the last few days.

Answer

I hope you don't remind me replying. I am Christian and my husband is Muslim, but I love supporting him through Ramadan and watching his dedication and faith. I always learn and focus much more on self control during this time myself. because my husband is so focused, it re-focuses me. though I daily read my Bible, i delve deeper in study during this time. I pray more often . I learn self reliance and that my husband spends 11 months of the year supporting me and he needs this month for him. I love how the Bible says in 1st Cor 7:5 "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."  this speaks to me to support him and and focus on my faith with as much enthusiasm and  devotion. ok well I've written a novel, but I love being inspired by my husbands faith and supporting his relationship with God however I can. I learn so much from this group, also! thanks ladies!

Answer

I learnt that it’s not great to set huge goals and especially with a baby. A little action but done consistently like reading 10 verses or whatever is better than reading Quran for hours during the first week and then nothing after

Answer

It was a mixed Ramadan for me. My first Ramadan as a pregnant lady and I didn't fast. It felt really strange and I'm not going to lie, I found it a bit of a struggle to get into the spiritual side. I didn't realise how much fasting actually helped mentally get me into a good head space and in 'the zone' (I'm not good at articulating myself but you get me, innit)
So upon reflection, I learnt that fasting is a huge form of mediation for me and really helps get me into a more spiritual zone - like a switch has flipped in my mind almost.
I did manage to complete my goal of finishing the Quran this Ramadan so I was really pleased. It was tough at times, between work and getting iftar ready and just generally having zero energy some days! But really please I didn't give up (I contemplated it!) And stuck with it 😊 
I wish I was better with taraweeh - unfortunately I didn't read any and I've never ever done that before. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it as I know pregnancy is tough on the body - but I don't want to be too relaxed to the point where I think 'eh it's ok' and become complacent - as taraweeh is something I want to definitely resume again next Ramadan or the Ramadan after InshAllah.
It helped having my husband to motivate me - he was brilliant this Ramadan and stuck to his goals that he set himself- which would really push me to go that extra mile when making duah or reading tasbeeh. 
I'm hoping to keep up with all of my Sunnah namaz after Ramadan InshAllah and some nafl! 
May Allah swt make it easy for us all InshAllah xx

Answer

it was amazing! I didnt get to read the full Quran like I wanted to be i got pretty far Alhamdulillah! I got A few wake up calls and have NEVER reminded myself to be aware of my words or really just corrected myself and my words besides this Ramadan. 😊 I really took time to eveluate myself and my actions. I still have to work a bit more on patience but Inshallah ill get there.

Answer

This whole post makes me realise that so many of us share the same struggles. Last Ramadan and this one have been entirely different to what I'm used to. Last Ramadan was my first pregnancy and I was sick the entire pregnancy, so I barely did anything :( Honestly it didn't even feel like Ramadan for me.
This Ramadan I was also pregnant, but the pregnancy was not as severe, but then of course I had a young 8 month old son to look after too. I didn't reach any of my goals, nor did I fast except a few. I was extremely guilty and hard on myself, but this has really really helped.
I pray Allah forgives me for my shortcomings and rewards all of our efforts.

Answer

It’s quite funny. Last year, during pregnancy, I had a great Ramadhan Alhamdulillah. I remember thinking how Ramadhan with baby will be so great - we can sit and do dhikr with him, recite Qur’an to him, read him stories. It genuinely didn’t occur to me that I would be struggling to find the time for these things alone, never mind magical moments with him! So yeah, Ramadhan was chaotic and tough, Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah I do feel stronger, though. I feel as though I can use my experience with this Ramadhan to better my next, InshaAllah.
Some things I realised or remembered:
1. Women are blessed with the gift of nafil itikaf. We can literally step in and out of it as we please, as long as it’s done in a designated room or area. I can literally just intend to pray Maghreb in itikaf, for example - zero effort for so much more reward. What a waste, that I haven’t been doing this already!
2. When my brain is so consumed by my baby, I find that the little brain space that is left often overlooks the most basic and obvious things. Motherhood doesn’t limit my reward in Ramadhan, it makes it so much greater. A mother is fulfilling her fard towards her child night and day, it doesn’t stop. SubhanAllah, I won’t downplay motherhood anymore. Allah Ta’ala acknowledges the hardship and great rank of mothers, why don’t I? I am blessed that I get to be a mother in Ramadhan, Alhamdulillah.
3. I think the biggest realisation for me was that I need to go back to basics. My final trimester had me so exhausted, the quality my Ibadah became affected. And of course, after baby, concentration is tough stuff. So I realised that my worries should be focused on that which is obligatory on me - my salah and my marriage. After these are back on track, then I can worry about my charity and my tahajjud, etc. 
This Ramadhan was a big learning curve for me. InshaAllah the next one will be better.

Another Ramadhan gone. How was it?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products