feeling the weight of the world lately

ive been feeling so terrible lately. like everything has been going wrong. my life just seems like its falling apart.

I cant stand my in laws and they live way to close. they act like they are the perfect family and the best aunts and uncles and grandparents to my son but really when it comes to anything i need, even if its for the baby, they are no where to be found. but when my husband calls they answer or call back very soon.

i hate my apartment. its tiny. ugly and everything is falling apart. i want to decorate but i always get in the mood and start then get discouraged because its a lot like adding glitter to shit. not to mention i just discovered bed bugs! oh god! and they are half impossible to get rid of. im sure they came from the downstairs neighbor because she is an older lady and LOVES USED FURNITURE! she is always telling us about stuff she picked up.

i dont like my job anymore. and i work third shift which makes it so much more difficult. i feel like i sleep my day away and never see my son unless its my night off... i feel like an utter failure as a mom and a wife and a human in general.

could i just get a little encouragement because I could really use it today!