Okay so Iam turning 25 this September for the longest time like for years now Iv been dealing with depression and just 2-3 years ago Iv added anxiety to it Iv been very strong I have suicidal thoughts it comes and goes a lot I have a 2 year old daughter my husband , and a very big family ( lots of cousins too ) 2016 I lost my cousin to suicide she lived in the us it was a very hard time 3 months later my dads niece committed suicide she lived in Iraq though I personally didn’t know her the one in Iraq but she was still family and it hurts to hear all this bad news they where both teenagers July 3 2017 my life literally froze I was hurt I was heart broken I literally didn’t think anything can hurt as much as this day hearing the news we got a call saying my aunty had also committed suicide she lived in the us the same place as my cousin my aunt was my Bestfriend FaceTiming her almost everyday she raised me for 5 years birth to 5 years old tell this day I still cry like it’s the first day I miss her like crazy .... it’s like we are cruised but we aren’t it’s just there day everyone. Has there day and that was there’s ..

I dreamt of having a big family everyone knew how much I was good with kids and they knew I always wanted like 4 kids but my depression and anxiety won’t let me anymore everything has changed about me I have a 2 year old and I can’t even take care of her it’s so hard for me to raise her I want another kid so bad but none of this was in my plan for life now I don’t even want kids like I’m telling myself Iam done no more

Ps sorry I kinda just summed the story up sorry if it sounds confusing