why do I do this to myself

I am 8dpiu and tested to see if my trigger shot was out of my system now and it was. I know it's too early but it made me really sad. this is our last round for a while because we just found out my husband has a brain tumor. I just want something good to happen. some good news. I had 4 follicles on my right ovary and 8 million sperm post wash. I have no symptoms except I had some sharp pains on my right side at 6dpiui. they were gone by the next day. please remind me that it's too early and that I'm not out yet. I just need to be reassured.