dealing with trauma and daily life

about 2 months ago I was raped by someone I really cared for. he raped me twice in my own home in a single night. between the assaults he beat the fuck out of me to the point I almost blacked out and he threatened to kill me. I got away and the police got him in less than 24 hours. before any of this happen I was already a little depressed but I knew I couldn't get through it. now after it all things just keep going wrong and my depression is so bad I'm starting to think that he should have just killed me.... I have a 3 year old child and hes the only thing keeping me alive but then I am also starting to cry when I look at him wondering if I will ever make it to see him grow up...