I feel like nothing. These last two years have hurt me on levels I can't begin to explain. Last year is when it began. I opened my heart again to my first love who I can never be with. We both began seeing each other in secret for sex because we could not be together. But ended up falling in love and it ended in heartbreak.because he would never choose me. I worked a job that sucked the life out of me. Telling me I wasn't good enough on a regular basis. Which caused a lot of stress and anxiety. This time was the first time in my life I had ever dealt with depression and anxiety. I left the situations and moved and started over. I got with a guy that was direct and amazing. I'd never felt chemistry like that before. One day he told me how much he cared for me and appreciated me. The next he ended it. Told me I caused him anxiety and he couldn't do it anymore. I tried to fix the problem because I cared about him . Only to be met with many many back and forths of being almost back to normal then him hitting me again and again with rejection and like the relationship never happened. I moved on. Or tried and the guy I dated went from sweet to mentally draining and possessive and controlling. I left him. I became interested in a guy. He was interested in me. We slept together twice. Now he needs space and will "come to me when he wants it" I have lost friend after friend. They either just left or ignore my cries to vent. I feel lost and alone. Is this what depression feels Like?