Trying to get mental health care

I am posting anonymously, so I will not reply, but thank you in advance for any help or advice.

In a nut shell: I was diagnosed with Depression, OCD, and Anxiety as a child. I now think that I'm bipolar. I have periods of time where I'm kinda happy or motivated, followed by episodes of extreme emotions, panic attacks, and then severe depression. When I am in the deep depression I am usually at least thinking I would be better off dead, or try to think of a way to kill myself.

My husband is autistic (diagnosed with aspergers as a child), so he isn't able to emotionally be there for me. He has the best intentions, but never says anything when I'm feeling off. We have also had two horrible years, that I can honestly describe as the worst two years of my life... which is exaggerating all of my out of control emotions.

I am trying to get a diagnosis, therapy, and medication. However, the only practice my insurance covers is booking out 10 months, and I cant wait that long. They told me to go in patient if I cant wait, but I could lose my job when we are counting every penny as is.

I dont have $30-$100/week let alone per month to spare, so I have no options. I live in North Dakota and our state doesnt invest money into mental healthcare, so everything is stretched thin.

I dont know what to do... I dont want to be suicidal again, and I'm going to be there soon because I'm spiraling and trying to get it to stop before I end up there. Please give me any advice you can... I feel so alone and like no one cares that people feel this way... like it's pointless to try and get help because there are no options.