Upset…

I don’t even know where to put this. But here I go. My husband and I have been trying for almost two years, had a miscarriage in between. I have been taking prenatal vitamins, supplements, keeping track of my ovulation, just about everything I can do. I got him vitamins and supplements as well, after doing research. He took the vitamins for about 2 weeks. I did t find out until far later that he’d stopped taking them.

Now we are bout in our 40’s; I’m 43 and he’s 48.

We talked about it many times. He really wants a baby, me too, but I feel I’m more “ok” with it just being us two. (We both have daughters in their 20’s from previous relationships). After talking we agreed that this was our last attempt 2 ovulations ago.

Bringing us to just a couple of days ago. He gets a package in the mail and I see that he’s ordered conception pills for men, and testosterone pills too!!! It upset me because he could’ve ordered these pills a while back and been taking them. That or been taking the pills and supplements I had gotten him before!

I get so damned depressed every time that damn pee stick gives me a negative. (Typing this as I read another negative).

Very time I tell him I’m done trying he gets upset. It isn’t fair!

Lately I’ve been so emotional, peeing a lot, headaches, neck aches, acne! I’m thinking for sure this time in pregnant. But No!

I’m done. Just done. I know many of you have been trying for far longer, my husband and I have been dating for about 16 years before we got married. That’s why we are trying in our 40’s. But I didn’t want to try after 44.