So tired 😔

40, been TTC for over a year and a half now; Clomid/Divigel for about a year of those cycles. Husband was tested and he’s great, so i know the trouble is with me. Got a bfp in January only to lose our little one in February. Been trying 6 more months since and started using FertileCM and PreSeed this past month. Tested this morning and yet another bfn. I know everyone will say to see a specialist, but honestly, if they can’t give me a payment plan like a 15 year mortgage or something, it’s just not a fiscally responsible decision for me right now. I’m tired of being so disappointed in myself all the time and so tired of timing and tracking everything. I’m thinking maybe it’s time to stop trying. 😔