My husband is clueless and left me in tears **LONG RANT**

I am 4 days away from delivering our 4th child, 1st child together. Our kids are older. Mine are 15 and 13, his is 8. Before getting pregnant I told him all my fears of doing it again. My kids father was not supportive or even around the entire pregnancy due to partying and during delivery he slept in the corner of the room through 98% of it and left me at the hospital after birth so he could go out. I didn’t want to go through another pregnancy alone. I warned him that I would need support. I’m not a high maintenance woman at all. I don’t expect him to stay up with me all night when I can’t sleep because of the baby kicking or nausea. I let him have his fun drinking or hanging out with friends while I stay home. None of that bothers me, he doesn’t do it to excess or take advantage. I by no means want or expect to be treated like a princess. I’m usually pretty tough and VERY independent This pregnancy has been rough, WAY harder than my other two and I’m assuming it’s because of my age. It was a lot easier at 20!!

The problem....

I’m at the point of being completely miserable like most women at this phase of pregnancy. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat because I get nauseous, I’ve been vomiting again, my body hurts, I can’t even shower at this point without being worn out from trying to shave my legs, I’m getting beyond anxious.

1. I’ve asked my husband a million times to massage my back. I have sciatica pain daily and some days it feels like I have a massive catch in my lower back. Not once has he actually done it or touched my back but will ask me to rub his while he falls asleep which I do without thinking.

2. He loves to pester me by tickling my feet and I absolutely despise it. Ive told him repeatedly if he has a need to touch them, rub them for me. They’re taking abuse with all the extra weight on them! He just laughs. I however have given him a pedicure while 8 months pregnant.

3. I’ve had issues with preterm labor since about 26 weeks. I’ve been on makena injections to keep me from dilating and procardia to lessen the contractions. I get rounds of painful contractions that are 2-3 minutes apart lasting usually 5-6 hours at least weekly. But I am not dilating because of the injections so they’re useless contractions that only cause pain. When I get them, he will just carry on with whatever he is doing. For example, two nights ago I was bent over the kitchen sink in tears because of the contractions. He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was in pain from the contractions. His next words were....”will you make me a cup of coffee while you’re in there?” He was literally sitting on the couch watching tv. Completely oblivious that a decision WE made was causing me pain and maybe I could use some support of some kind.

4. I can no longer sleep. When I lay down I get nauseous and it keeps me awake. I’ve tried meds, propping myself up, pregnancy pillows. Nothing helps. I’ve just learned to get used to sleeping for usually around 2-3 hours a night. Last night was a rough one. I finally fell asleep around 4am and slept intermittently between contractions and kicking until his alarm was set for 6am. It woke me up and I couldn’t go back to sleep. This is by no means his fault. He finally crawled out of bed at 7:15am and took his daughter to school. I warned him that I was exhausted and had a rough night so I may try to sleep some today if he calls and I don’t answer. He Then comes back home from work at 10am. When he walked in he asked what I had been up to. I told him not much because I’ve been feeling way more nauseous than usual and couldn’t rest because of it. As in mouth watering, in my throat, running to the bathroom nausea. He literally threw the cat on my stomach, jumped into the bed, looked at me and said “oh ok well I’m gonna take a nap”. I could have slapped him.

Tonight I finally broke down. I told him that I needed support. I needed the man he promised he would be when we started ttc. I don’t necessarily need him to pamper me or baby me but for the love of Christ if I’ve been hugging the toilet for an hour, bring me a glass of water. If he sees me bent over the bed breathing deep and crying through contractions, let me lean on you. Don’t just lay in the bed and play on your phone pretending to not notice. Give me a hug, tell me thank you for going through this to bring our child into the world....something, anything. Yet I’m unreasonable and the two times he’s asked if I needed anything, I told him I was fine so he shouldn’t have to ask anymore. And “there’s something wrong or hurting you everyday lately so I would constantly be doing it” was his response. It’s my responsibility to tell him directly what to do. Mf’er I have constant issues because I’m constantly pregnant with your massive child!!It isn’t going to change until I have her. Now he won’t speak to me and just texted me to tell me that he isn’t coming home tonight but is going to sleep in his office at work.

Why is it so hard to want to be involved in something you helped create?! How can you watch someone you love struggle and not bat an eye? I know men aren’t usually natural nurturers but geez, I’m not asking for the world. Just a hug or some acknowledgement.

Sorry for the diarrhea of the mouth but I had to get it out! It’s been building for 10 months now.