The other night

The other night I was in a very low place I’ve been there a few times this month but it was different and more intense than normal it started about 1:30amish and didn’t stop until 4am when I fell asleep I bawled my eyes out the entire time I kept trying to text my boyfriend but he ignored ever single one of my texts I was trying to tell him how I felt and that I felt scared but he just wasn’t having it because I had left his house an hour earlier because we were arguing. At 3am is when I decided I was just going to end it all and I was totally okay with it but for some reason right before I was going to do what I had planned I automatically stopped crying and I just stayed laying there in my bed while I was laying there I saw a dark figure in the corner of my room right by my door it was just starting at me and I was staring right back at it. I don’t know why my body felt like I was glued to the bed all I could do was stare at whatever it was that was watching me it watched me until I fell asleep.

This is the first time that I felt so low that I planned out an actual suicide, no I don’t think I’m suicidal but I do believe people have days when they THINK they don’t want to be here anymore. I know I have a lot to live for, just thought I’d share.