17 and pregnant “my story “

I was 16 when I found out about my pregnancy.June 6 I was at school taking a pregnancy test waited a minute and it came back positive and I thought to myself “no this test is wrong it’s the cheap family dollar ones they usually come out wrong since it was really light “ Next day my boyfriend bought the first response test and they came out really dark. I didn’t know what to feel .i didn’t plan a pregnancy but I can’t blame nobody for this pregnancy but my self.I cried for two whole days as thoughts of telling my parents cake across my mind I knew they weren’t gonna take it right not only because they didn’t knew I had a boyfriend and because I was their only girl “ their little girl “ as they described me . I begged god that this was only a dream . I didn’t want to disappoint my parents anymore as most of my life has been spent disappointing them . I wanted to make it to senior year and prove them wrong that I would graduate and get them that diploma so that once in their life they would be “ proud “ of me as they were with my brother .But after finding out I was pregnant I knew that was gonna change. they found out that same week on a Sunday by my brother . They told me the worse . As of that day I didn’t really care anymore . Summer started so I moved in with his family . I started with the nauseas and vomiting. I wouldn’t eat at all only when he came home from work . I would spend all day without eating until 6 Pm sometimes 7 and his mom wouldn’t care . I couldn’t make myself nothing cause they lady would get mad . I would have to eat her food which was always nasty to me so ofc I wouldn’t eat . I would buy fruits for me to eat and the next day they would all be gone and I couldn’t do anything because it was their house . I went from 157 to 122 I lost a lot of weight in just less then four months . so I moved back with my mom. I’m now 5 months and I found out it was a girl . I’m not excited at all for this pregnancy and I don’t know what to do . This pregnancy it’s just a failure to me in my eyes. I know that sounds bad but it just I see myself in the mirror every single day to see that I didn’t live my life as I would have loved too . but hopefully when I met this little girl everything will change .