So here's the summary version: I've been pretty unhappy at my job for a while now but I've been here over 4 years and you get comfortable you know? Even with the misery. On September 28th this same company laid off 9 people, my mom happened to be included in that batch. Since then every day has felt worse and worse, coming in hurts my heart and my soul, they treat all their employees like dirt and expect us to serve and aide our community with a smile on our face.

I'm 12weeks and 2 days. My position here, as of now, is very secure and they don't know about my pregnancy. I've been looking at jobs I would be qualified for in our area and considering applying but I'm afraid to pull the trigger. In my mind changing jobs in pregnancy is so risky, you never know how the other company will react. At my current job I pay for short term disability so when I go out on maternity leave I'll have protection under FMLA and get some money back because of my short term disability.

I guess inside I know I have no choice and need to just suck it up and stay here but is it worth the drain on my mental health? Ugh, probably. Still really sucks.