I’m scared.....

I don’t know how to begin I’ve always had problems with myself because I’ve been through a lot of stressful things in my life since I was a child. Recently I suffered pregnancy loss and I thought I was getting better but today I was suppose to get my period and I’m late 2 days took a test and got the big negative. Did I mention I had stopped ttc because it emotionally drained me. I don’t know why but this affected me a whole lot I’ve been crying and crying, I’ve been crying so much I didn’t go to work and my head is pounding. I’m having dark thoughts I hit my head really hard I harmed myself something I rarely do. Even with this I can’t get my thoughts straight I’m scared of myself right now. I don’t know what to do who to go to all I know is I want it to end all of it now.