Am I alone?

When I lost my virginity, I was raped by my at the time boyfriend. Long story short, I no longer felt that sex was worth anything and pretty much had sex with any guy who was interested. I blocked out sex at that time and honestly have no memory of sex with any of those guys. My fiancé started out as just another guy I slept with on the first date, but we quickly realized it was something more and have now been together for 4 years.

Here’s where I’m worried I’m alone. I have very little sexual desire toward him. I get turned on by reading sexual things, seeing something racy on a movie, and by other guys (we opened our relationship for a little bit to see if it would help things). But not him. I don’t know if the rape has something to do with why I’m having such difficulty with intimacy with him. It really bothers me and I know it’s hard for him too. Anyone else been through this?