Unlovable

I am unloveable i am and will never been good enough for anyone to love me.. i am ugly and fat and a mess.. everyone i have ever let in has hurt me and left me and proven time and time again that i am not worthy of love.. i have no friends.. my husband left me and my kids would rather be with anyone but me.. i am literally alone.. i am so jealous of everyone who knows what it feels like to actually have someone love them for them.. i wake everyday upset that I actually woke up.. death has to be better then this life i have been forced to live:.. i have nothing.. and no one and i am tired.. i am currently sitting in my car alone and crying and really trying to figure out what i should do from here.. should i leave and keep going until i run out of gas and call that home or should i just end it all.. either way i need to come up with an answer soon.. for once i am thinking about me and going to do what makes me happy..