More circumstantial but 😢

I have a constant knot in my chest and feel like at any moment I could have a full blown panic attack and I’m not really sleeping well at night.

My son had meningitis at 2 weeks old and Rsv at 4 weeks both times hospitalizing him. I just went back to work and he won’t really eat for anyone 😞 I’m gone for 11+ hours and he is only eating 2-4 ounces that whole time. I went to a Lactation consultant yesterday and she told me his latch is great on me and he is at serious risk for weight loss and being considered failure to thrive if we don’t get him on a bottle. She told me I need to wear a nipple shield when nursing him. I tried the nipple shield last night and this morning and he cried so hard he about threw up . He seriously stresses me out I feel like all day I have a knot in my chest and if anyone asks me how he is doing I cry.

On top of it all my husband is in the National guard and was injured a couple years ago and now they are trying to medically discharge him which would mean we would loose our health insurance. We also live in a small town and there are not many day cares my current day care told me she is wanting to stop and all the other providers are a year out at least 😢 I just feel like we can’t catch a break and I can’t handle anymore 😢