21 with first miscarriage

I found out thanksgiving of 2018 that I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I were over the moon. We ended up telling so many people because we are young (But well off. We work hard). My first appointment was at 10 weeks 6 days. I showed up so excited only to find out that I had a missed miscarriage. My heart is completely broken. It has been 2 weeks since my dne and I have completely lost it. All I do is cry for my baby. Women all around me are having babies and it makes my blood boil to see their bellies grow when mine is now so empty. I honestly don’t know how to heal from this. Everyone expects me to move on and be fine but I don’t see that happening. All I see is baby stuff I received for Christmas and pictures and think of what could have been. I will always wonder what my baby would have been like. Why couldn’t I keep my baby safe? It was my only job. And i couldn’t do that. I will never forgive myself.