So I had my son 12 months ago on the 7th. Since I have birth, I’ve had sever postpartum anxiety. It took me a while to figure out that I did, because I thought I was normal to worry so much about your child. When I had returned to work and called my boyfriend 7 times in a row because he didn’t answer and I convinced myself that my child was dying, I knew it was anxiety. I had an overwhelming fear that my child would die. Every single day. I quit my job of 8 years as a manager because I couldn’t function at work, I was overwhelmed and freaking out and it was effecting my work ethic. I thought it would all just disappear after a year. It’s definitely gotten better but it’s still there.

Recently, I have been crying a lot, mostly because I feel like my boyfriend is less attracted to me and in my head I’m losing him. I don’t know if it’s just depression that’s making me feel this way or if I’m just stressed out. We barley make ends meet now since I quit my job. My bf works 10 hours a day, 6 nights a week. He works from 6pm at night and gets home around 5am. I recently found out he was masturbating to pictures of girls on Facebook and that has sent me into a whirlwind of emotions. It makes me feel ugly and like I’m not good enough for him. I feel like it’s all my fault. I feel like I don’t do enough to provide for our family, I just sit at home all day every day and watch my son. I never have any feelings of resentment towards my son, I don’t ever feel like I want to hurt myself or him. I cry when he falls, I would never ever hurt him, and if never want to hurt myself and leave him without a mother. I just feel sad a lot. Most days I’m fine, I feel blessed to have my son and to be able to stay home with him and raise him. Maybe it’s just because I’m cooped up in the house all day? I should probably get out more. What do you all think? Does it sound like I’m depressed? Should I talk to someone? Or am I just stressed out?!