Shitbag husband

I do my best to support my husband emotionally. However... he is constantly complaining about basic things such as still having to report to pt after being in the hospital with me until 12am. He feels as if he is being treated unfairly ALL the time. I’m a veteran so I’m well aware of how things are. Just do as your told. Don’t take things personally. Every chance he gets to do the wrong thing he does it. He has no integrity. He tries to skip out of work or schedule appointments at times that will get him out of work the most. He will go to appointments in civilian clothes knowing he’s supposed to be in uniform during the duty day. And when he complains to me and I disagree with him he gets upset with me and shuts down and doesn’t want to talk anymore. He also claims to have pain to get profiles for pt... I really think it’s him just being lazy but as a wife I need to believe him and support his feelings. It’s just incredibly frustrating when me and our children are relying on him financially so we can’t afford for him to get chartered or disclipined because of stupid reasons. How do I deal with his behavior. I honestly would consider him a shitbag. He half does everything at home I feel like I’m married to a child. He doesn’t clean up after himself so I can only imagine how he is at work. He lacks responsibility, “forgets” when he has duty or cq, I feel like he is constantly bringing negative attention to himself. I love him but sorry. Advice please

Am I being too critical?

Also I’ve tried numerous times expressing to him how I feel about his behavior at work. It just pisses him off to the point where he shuts the conversation down within 2 mins

UPDATE

he is an awesome leader. Like he would do great in a leadership position. But I fear he will never get one because he is a horrible follower. He seems to have a real problem with authority figures in his unit.

How are ways I can provide positive reinforcement?