In a really tough spot.

I’m going to post this anonymously for obvious reasons.

Right now I’m in a really tonight spot financially and mentally.

I’ll be 27 weeks pregnant on Thursday. I haven’t eaten a real meal since last week sometime.. I’m not posting this for pitty or to make anyone feel sorry for me. I just want to vent, because I have no one.

I lost my nanny job when they found out I was pregnant. It took me a month to find another job, and honestly I love it.. but I make about $500 every 2 weeks. Our monthly rent alone is $950.

On to my bf... he has ZERO work ethic, even now that we are expecting. I’ve always had a job, ever since I was 15. My parents raised me to work for what I had. He, on the other hand didn’t get his first job until he was 20. And he’s had several since then (4 years.) My point of sharing this is... he missed work 3 days in a row last week to stay home and play video games. He missed today and stayed home all day to play games.

We are negative $35 in our bank account, because I got a breast pump and I thought it was going to charge my insurance but it charged me. His car payment is 2 months behind, rent is late and electric is set to be shut off tomorrow.

We have no food, literally. I couldn’t wait to get to work this morning so that I could eat some peanut butter crackers, but was dreading coming home knowing I wouldn’t have dinner. Even his dog was out of food, so we were feeding him scraps of what we had leftover.

I’m laying in bed crying about this because I know the stress is weighing on my son as well, and it hurts me to know that babies can cry in the womb.

I just imagine him crying because he’s hungry like me.

I just need prayers. I need something to get better.

I can feel my son moving, and it just makes me so sad. I’m constantly telling him I’m sorry, that it’ll get better.

*Edited to say, I have ZERO friends or family. I live 2 1/2 hours from my family, I moved up here for school and to be closer to his family.... whom we NEVER even see anyway.

I live in OKC, so if anyone knows anything in this area... let me know.