Have you ever felt like if you do so much at home for everyone but yourself, and when you feel like you’re overwhelmed and need someone to start caring for you in the same way no one even realizes and when you make comments to let it be known about different things you feel it’s pushed aside like if you aren’t being listened too or like if you’re lying and it’s dismissed.

You ever feel like if what you give you never ever get back, like if you’re just a machine and if god forbid something ever happens to you, everyone would be screwed over because you’re te foundation and back bone of the house and no one else does or knows how to do what you do and they know it but they still don’t stop and think about how that makes you feel, like if you have that added pressure on yourself because you know you have to think about yourself also to keep everything and everyone going but you just can’t because you have no way and no time too do so.

Feeling like a machine sucks ass, but it’s like I love my family and I want to care for them but why does that mean that I gotta forget about myself, why does that mean that I always gotta come last.

I’m a naturally extremely unselfish person and I don’t know how to act selfish or put myself first sometimes without feeling bad about it and feeling like if I’m a monster or like if I’m letting my family down somehow.

I know that irrational but it’s the truth smh