What helped you get over a miscarriage?

Question

I had a missed miscarriage about 3 weeks ago. I was supposed to be 10 weeks but I measured at 8weekish and there was no heartbeat. It was heartbreaking. I had woken up that morning sending something was wrong but I thought It was my hormones. It’s a horrible feeling going to the doc , waiting for that ultrasound, for there to be complete silence .. 
Any advice would be appreciated! 
Won’t be trying at the moment or ever. Idk how I can go thru this again. pregnancy is hard enough.

Answer

Find someone to talk to that understands. In my opinion from my experience ... try to avoid talking to people who don't know what you're going through. They tend to say things that hurt and are somewhat offensive even if they don't mean too. 
I'm sorry for your loss 💔

Answer

Know your not alone and that its ok to feel whatever feelings your feeling, people might be assholes and be like ohh get over it and try to make less of your feelings. But your feelings are valid. Writing a letter to the baby can help. That helped me a lot. It feels like a really lonely journey, but a lot of women go through it. Talk to someone, and express yourself even if that means balling your eyes out at 2 am

Answer

Maybe therapy or support group or journaling may help. People who have been through it themselves. I’ve had 2. At 2 and 4 months along 3 years ago. In the beginning it was hard. Especially having to go to baby showers for friends and trying to pretend you are happy for them when you are dying inside or having to shop for the baby shower and having a melt down in the baby clothes section. All the what if’s and what could have been.  Holidays. Birthdays. When they past and when they would have been born. And most people cant grasp it. Especially men. Why you just can’t get over it or let it go. How you feel like a failure as a woman. How you blame yourself or what you could have done differently. Did something I did kill my child. The guilt that you feel. How you look at other people with kids and feel empty and sometimes bitter or jealous or resentful etc. Same thing when you have been trying to conceive for so long and it hasn’t happened and so and so is on her 5th kid. All normal feelings. Time helped me. Getting away from my piece of crap ex. Realizing it was a blessing in disguise that I never have to deal with him again because we didn’t have kids together. I look back now and am glad and spared myself so much bs. He was the worst. Red flag city but I was in denial and didn’t want to be alone. When I told him I was pregnant the first time he called me a liar that I was trying to trap him etc. And when I lost the baby he didn’t even care so I went through it alone. I spent 6 months alone. I told no one. And this place was the only place I could talk to people about it because no one knew who I was, no one could tell my family or say I told you so or hold it over my head and guilt me more. Which is why I will never tell my mother. All my mother did was taunt me. That she thought I was crying over my ex. I could not have cared less about him. I was mourning my child. The second one didn’t affect me as much. I was 2 months along and used to it after the first one. Took a good year for my periods to get back to normal. It was heavy for a year. It’s a process. One day at a time. Forgiving yourself. Having a conversation with your higher power. I was blessed to have a dream that my little girl was ok and was in heaven and wasn’t in pain and wasn’t sad and said she will see me again some day. Just makes me tear up thinking about it. But it was what I needed. And it helped me cope. It’s not that you ever truly forget about them or anything like that. Life goes on. And the best thing that you can do is be an example of an amazing person. They live through you. They live in you. In your heart. In your mind and in your soul. They will always be a part of you. Make them proud. And some day you will see them again. I send you a hug and hope things get better. Keep yourself busy so you don’t think about things. Pamper yourself. Take care of yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. And. If you have another kid or try for another, don’t feel guilty. You aren’t replacing them or anything like that. You will be ok and will figure it out one day at a time.

Answer

I am so sorry for your loss! Lots of love and prayers your way! ♥️

What helped you get over a miscarriage?

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