Ezekiel’s grand entrance to the world... (graphic pictures)

My first sons birth was traumatic so as I was getting closer to my due date the anxiety was really kicking in. I was scheduled to have another c section due to my first being a emergency c section. The last days before birth I would wake up having anxiety attacks. Monday 03/18/19 arrived and I was trying so hard to remain calm, once they got me ready to go into surgery i was fighting off another anxiety attack while trying to remain unnoticed on the outside. I get into the operating room and they prep my back for the epidural. I was so nervous because with my first birth while I was laboring the epidural wouldn’t work properly and kept wearing off so when it came time to rush me into surgery they actually put so much epidural in my back to numb me I was numb and paralyzed for over 4 hours after birth and I shook violently during the operation and after. I was so worried they weren’t going to give me enough to numb me and I would feel the surgery or that they would end up giving me too much that I would feel like I couldn’t breath again. They give me the injection and lay me on the table. They start testing me to see if I was numb and start prepping the area. I am just waiting for my husband to be allowed in the room to keep me calm. As I am waiting the anxiety gets so bad my chest starts to burn and hurt like I’m having a heart attack. I am just trying to breath through it. Finally my husband comes in and I feel immediate relief. We talk about random things like the upcoming game of thrones with the nurses as the surgery starts. I feel the pressure and pulling but no pain and I calm down even more. Finally I hear them say they are taking the baby out and i hear a quick light cry. Instant relief. They start stitching me back and they take the baby to be wiped down and evaluated. Then they bring the baby to my husband. Welcome to the world Ezekiel Orion Craig! By the time I was put back in my recovery room I could already move one toe. I was so relieved I didn’t feel paralyzed. They give me Zeke and we spend the next two hours feeding and skin to skin bonding. Overall the procedure went so well! So much smoother than the first. 3 days later we are home and the recovery is going well. I will admit the shrinking of the uterus is much more painful this time around. Not sure if it’s because of previous scaring on the uterus or what but I was told it’s common for the healing of the second birth to be more painful by the nurses. breastfeeding has been tough but I’m pushing through it. My son wants to bite down and not open his mouth wide and my poor nipples have suffered the effects. Day 5 and my milk has officially came in. Things are getting better day to day. My oldest is so proud to be a big brother and I am so proud of how well he was transitioned into the role of big brother. He was such a mommas boy I was worried he wouldn’t want to share my attention. But he just wants to sit with me and stare at his baby brother with this look of pure love and admiration. Overall I am just overwhelmed with joy and love. The last three years was a hard road to this end result. We lost three previous pregnancies and struggled with fertility I am so relieved to finally complete our family with this beautiful healthy baby boy! This boy mom is so proud!!! 💙💙💙🌈🌈🌈