I feel lost

My husband and I have had lots of issues, like any newly weds. I’ve noticed my husband has a track record. It took him a year to put me on the debit card, when I finally got to look at it I see that he is buying food, drinks, and has been hiding these purchases from me. It wouldn’t be a big deal if we weren’t living from paycheck to paycheck. We have 2 kids and I am a stay at home mom. I’ve been trying to save money but come to find out it’s all being spent behind my back, we have nothing left in our savings anymore. All the money omg family has given me for birthday, babies birthdays, everything I’ve put away. It’s all gone and spent. I’m struggling; he tells white lies to me consistently, now it’s the hiding purchases. I don’t understand why he does this, the only explanation I get when I confront him is “I’ve earned it, I spend my money how I want.” Or “I’m a compulsive buyer” while I’m here busting my ass trying to make sure food is always on the table and how can I make the money he gives me last. I know I’m a stay at home mom so I don’t do much nor am I entitled to any of the money in that account, but it’s hard because he doesn’t have his kids best interest. I’ve gone through harder times, when he gets dinner leftovers and I eat nothing, or blend up water and frozen fruit or maybe a piece of toast. I wish he would appreciate me more and not make me into a bad guy because I say no to things.