Puppy wants to fill the void

Last July, my 12 year old dog went missing while she was under the care of my in-laws. I feel no ill-will towards my in-laws, but I don't think my heart will ever heal from the devastation. I still actively search for her to this day... In late September of the same year I happened to be near an animal shelter that I've visited numerous times in hopes of finding her. I decide to go in the shelter and as I'm peering into the kennels wishing that my dog would be in one of them, I stopped at a particular kennel and saw a small puppy staring at me. I've seen many puppies at the shelters I've visited but this one stood out amongst the others. I checked his information and turns out he was available for adoption that day. After a long talk with my husband, we decided to submit our application for adoption.

Coming home and being with him was the happiest my husband and I had been for months. We learned early on that he's very in tuned with his emotions as well as those around him.

Fast forward to last night. My husband and I have been trying to conceive shortly after our first dog went missing, and I noticed some spotting on my underwear. My period wasn't due for another five days so I was really hopeful that it was implantation bleeding. My mind began to race with how I was going to surprise my husband and how and when we were going to tell our families. As the day went on, the bleeding became much more significant and I was forced to face the reality that this wasn't implantation bleeding but my regular period. While I laid in bed beside my sleeping husband I began silently sobbing. It didn't hit me until that moment how bad I wanted to be a mother.

My puppy, upon hearing me crying, went to my side of the bed and just stood there, watching the tears roll down my cheeks. I started to pet him to thank him for being there and he then began licking my face, replacing my tears with his affection. After a while, I began to laugh and sensing that I was okay he laid next to me throughout the night.

I know my time will come when I can finally be a mother. But in the meantime, I feel blessed to be a dog mom ❤️