I don’t know how I’m going to start this but here it goes. Basically he cheated on me, we can’t be together because he’s in an messy situation rn and we both want to be back together. I just love him so much, it’s hard to just forget him after him being in my life for almost 3 years. Ik he messed up when he decided to cheat. Ik what everyone is going to say but I haven’t really told anyone he cheated. I don’t want anyone to say anything to me about it bc I still having feelings for him. I love this man and I was ready to have his babies literally. Every day I’m still waiting to wake up from this dream. My relationship wasn’t perfect but I felt it was every time I would talk or spend time together. And I’m not gonna to say he was my whole life like these other girl. I was acting like a wife to a boyfriend as some people would say. My gf/wife mentality came natural to me. I miss sleeping in his bed, braiding his hair, helping him with his projects in his garage, I miss kissing and cuddling with him, I miss coming back home smelling like him and my car smelling like him. I don’t have sex with anyone unless they are my boyfriend. I’m not gonna lie after the first time I was already hooked. We had so many more things to accomplish as a couple also individuals. I really tried to hate him but my heart just couldn’t I would cry, not sad tears but love tears if that’s a thing. How much love I have for him is beyond this world. Just when he holds me I feel like I’m suppose to be there forever. Someone please say April fools, bc it’s not funny anymore. I want to lay in his bed and watching a new shows on Netflix that he forces me to watch, which almost always end up being good. We still text,call, FaceTime and even hang out and yes we still have sex. And ik that’s not helping me to move on. I’m in my 20s and ppl are saying your still young you’ll find someone. I don’t want to keep looking or dating around,I want the one I love. I tried talking to someone else but I just can’t I need and want to tell someone how much I love. I never thought I would miss telling someone I love you or I miss you. We’re each other’s best friends and we still tell each other everything and will always be in my life. ***(I don’t really post for advice all the time <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a> is kinda like my journal. And he’s not using me for sex, I’m using him. I’m moving on, I just love having sex with him with protection ofc.***