Depression Vent

Sorry if this brings anyone else down but I've had a fairly rough day and need to vent.

Today I went to my Mom's bosses baby shower with her I bought a ton of stuff and was really excited for her to see everything I picked out seeing as how at my shower I got almost nothing because almost no one I invited (which was only family members) showed up. I didn't want the girl to have the same feeling of disappointment as I did. My baby shower was something I didn't even want to have because I know my family is flakey but sooo many people said they where coming then didn't it really hurt my heart. Then the shower itself was thrown together last minute by my mother who put almost no effort into it and even said "I just got whatever". Like it wasn't even alittle bit important to her even though she insisted I should have one. I am very greatful for those who did show but seeing how many people came out for my Mom's boss's babyshower really just got me thinking like all these people care for her and are excited for her but only 10 people cared to come to my shower and I do so much for my family I just broke down in the car on the way home... My Mom who thought I was crying because I wanted to go see a movie that my sister bailed one me for said "If your gunna whine about it we'll just go see the stupid movie" and when I told her the reason I was crying was because it was just disheartening to see so many people care for her and almost no one care for me (even though I'm not a vein person and like I said I expected no one to show to mine in the first place) she said "Oh whatever Alexis" then she tried to force me to go to the movies and I told her no I'm not gunna go to a movie and cry the entire time so she turned the car to go home saying "Well your crying for no reason!" Like my feelings where completely invalid. Now I'm 20 years old this is my first child I'm single and doing it all on my own and it has been soooo fuckin hard. My babies father has been bashing my name though he has nothing to show for himself or his son and currently is in a new relationship and hasn't even given me a phone number to reach him at though he has been telling people he "can't wait to be a great father unlike his dad". Watching my Mom's boss take care of his pregnant girlfriend the whole time making sure she was content and had everything she needed and seeing myself struggle so hard these last 8 1/2 months on my own from snow shoveling to house work and preparing and saving to afford an infant on my own it just all made me feel like a failure.... And my having no support other then a mother who tells me I'm "eating to much and getting fat" and makes me feel like my feelings are invalid to her just sometimes I feel so hopeless...

Again sorry if this brings anyone down and I don't mean to come off weak or invain or anything negative life is just so much right now...