I’m 26 and I don’t have an open relationship at all with my parents. They love me and I love them, but we’re a more action than talk kind of family. Acts of service is how we show our love.

We don’t talk about personal things to each other, we don’t really talk to each other at all other than the daily routine of eating dinner together and we’d all be watching tv.

I’ve dated and had boyfriends before but never told them because they were in a “focus on school, no dating until you’re 20” phase. (I come from a strict traditional Chinese family if that helps).

I’d occasionally hear my mom tell me “shouldn’t you be dating now that you’re 26?” but I get mixed signals where they tell relatives that I’m “too immature to be dating”. Mixed signals here 😂. Doesn’t help that I’ve learned to be a quiet closed off person.

Now I’m 26, and I see me being with this guy for a very long time. I’ve known him for five years and dating him the past three months. He says he understands and told me to take my time telling them (even when he’s told his whole family already , they’re very open). But I don’t want to hide him anymore.

I’m not ashamed of him, he’s honestly the most decent guy I’ve ever met! Sensitive, great at communication, holds so much empathy.

Please help a girl out! 😭 I know in the end that they’ll accept him because they love me. I just need to get past the first step of telling them that I’m dating, but for a person who locks her feelings in from their parents, it’s a really hard thing to do!

Once one family member knows, all the relatives know, so I think that’s also holding me back. I don’t like being bombarded with questions and my family has no boundaries! I know they care but they don’t care about personal space!

Sincerely,

A person who understands why they are the way they are and knows why they have a hard time opening up, but just doesn’t know how to open up to parents cause she was never taught to.

All help is welcome and appreciated 😭