Child Support

Ever since my daughter was born, her dad broke up with me and practically abandoned her. I let him come see my daughter whenever he feels like it. He only comes about twice a month, but i know that he works 4 days and is off the other 4 and he makes 2-3 thousand a month. He does not make himself responsible for her and I have not asked him for a penny. I am so tired of him being a part time parent and not providing for her, like he should. The reason I haven't asked for child support is because I was afraid he would take revenge and use it against me. Recently I've talked to some people about it and they've cleared some things up for me, but I still have so many questions. I've been wanting to go apply for child support, but I don't know what I need or where to start. Should I tell my EX first? Will he be able to take her against her will in his court ordered days? If I don't trust him to take good care of her, because he doesn't know a thing about raising a child, will he still be able to take her? If his family are complete strangers to her and they want to take her after they find out I applied for child support, can they take her? If my ex lives miles away and his family as well, how is that gonna work if I don't trust them to take her? And I still have so many more questions. Can anyone tell me more or less how this works? What do I need to start the process??? Who can answer all my questions?