Getting tired of breastfeeding and pumping

I need to vent— I have been breastfeeding for 11 weeks now..I am also pumping and freezing milk so I can go back to work but I’m getting to a point where I’m just so tired!

I wanted to breastfeed for 6 months but I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I started to think about formula but feel so guilty! (Not judging moms who formula feed)

I pump about twice a day and get about 4oz altogether.. I breastfeed every 3hrs and at night every 3-5 hrs when baby sleeps a little longer. My husband helps me with what he can but I’m the one doing most of the feeding because I freeze as much as I can so I don’t have milk left to make a bottle for my husband to give the baby at night.

My husband sleeps on the couch and I sleep on the bed with baby.. and I’m just tired and irritable all the time. I also think I have anxiety. I haven’t been out of the house much.. I go to grocery store or something like that..

Last weekend we went to a cookout and left the baby with my mother in law and I felt so awkward without my baby close to me... I kept looking at her pics on my phone.

My mom is also visiting and she has been staying with us for about 3 months now.. she can’t do much for health issues but sometimes I wish she had a little bit more initiative and helped me more.. like change baby’s diapers or clean the house to help me but she acts like she’s on vacation.. she drinks and takes naps.. She’s so emotional and sensitive.. I tried talking to her but she cries and says she feels like she’s a burden. So I just don’t say anything anymore.. she’s leaving soon so I just deal with it. I’m just so tired..

I keep telling myself I can do this and try to push myself but its hard.

I go back to work on the 17th and I think it might do me good to get out of the house.

I feel so cramped in here sometimes.. taking care of baby, my mom and husband at the house all the time. My husband is on paternity leave so he watches the baby during the day so I can get some rest.

So many women wish they could breastfeed and are not able to do so and I feel bad because I’m able to but not sure if I still want to.